How to Talk With Your Teen about Executive Function Coaching: A Guide for Parents
- Catriona M
- Feb 17
- 5 min read
Updated: May 19
Summary
Getting your teen on board with executive function (EF) coaching can feel tricky, especially if they’re reluctant. This parent guide offers practical, conversational ways to talk to your teen about working with an EF coach: How to introduce the idea, validate their concerns, and highlight how coaching can help them feel more confident and in control—both now and in the future. You’ll find sentence starters, relatable analogies, and open-ended questions to make the conversation with your teen feel natural and engaging.
How to Talk with Your Teen about Executive Function Coaching
Teens today juggle an overwhelming number of responsibilities—schoolwork, extracurriculars, social lives, and (let’s be honest) screen time. Executive function skills—like time management, organization, and self-regulation—are crucial for navigating these challenges successfully.
But let’s face it: when parents suggest something that sounds like more work, teens may shut down.
This guide is designed to help you have a constructive, low-pressure conversation with your teen about executive function coaching. By using relatable language, real-life benefits, and empowering them in the process, you can help them see this as an opportunity rather than a burden.
Remember, teens need to feel heard and understood. The key to a successful conversation is to stay calm, patient, and supportive, while highlighting how this process can genuinely benefit them.
How to Start the Conversation
Here are eight ways you can talk to your teen about working with an executive function coach:
Acknowledge Their Reluctance
Opening the conversation by acknowledging their feelings is an important first step. Teens may resist because they don’t fully understand what executive function coaching is, or they may feel embarrassed or uncertain about it. Let them know you get it.
Example Sentence Starters:
“I know you might not be super excited about the idea of working with an executive function coach, and that’s okay.”
“I understand if this feels weird or overwhelming right now. It’s totally normal to feel that way about trying something new.”
Connect It to Their Current Experience
Teens are much more likely to be open to coaching when they can see how it relates to their current struggles. Frame it as a tool that can help them right now with school and life challenges they’re already facing, rather than something that only pays off in the distant future.
Example Sentence Starters:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling frustrated with keeping track of assignments or managing your time with everything going on. This could be a way to make that easier for you.”
“It sounds like school has been stressing you out lately. This is something that could help make things a little less overwhelming.”
Offer a Logical, Future-Oriented Perspective
While teens are often focused on the present, it helps to offer a practical view of how these skills will benefit them long-term. You could compare executive function coaching to learning a skill that’ll pay off later, like learning to drive.
For example: "Think of it like learning how to drive a car. At first, it’s a little hard, and maybe it’s not something you want to spend time on. But once you get the hang of it, you can go anywhere, anytime, and it makes your life easier. Learning to manage your time and plan ahead is kind of the same—once you’ve got these skills, they’re with you forever, making life a lot easier down the road.”
Example Sentence Starters:
“It might not seem like it right now, but these are skills you’ll use for the rest of your life—in college, at a job, even when managing your own place someday.”
“This is like investing in your future self. It’s about making things easier, not just now but when you’re juggling bigger responsibilities later on.”
Focus on Their Autonomy and Empowerment
Teens value their independence, so it helps to position coaching as a way for them to gain more control over their own life, rather than something that’s being forced on them. You can frame it as a way for them to take charge of their situation and feel more capable and confident.
Example Sentence Starters:
“This isn’t about someone telling you what to do—it’s about figuring out what works for you, so you can handle things the way you want.”
“You get to decide how you want to approach things, and the coach is just there to help you build tools to do it.”
Use Analogies That Relate to Their Interests
If your teen is into sports, gaming, or even hobbies like baking or building things, you can compare executive function skills to those activities. This helps them understand that these are just new tools to make their “game of life" easier and more successful.
Sports Analogy:
“You know how an athlete works with a coach to get better? It’s not because they’re bad at their sport—it’s because the coach can help them figure out strategies to improve. The same goes for executive function skills—having a coach doesn’t mean you’re bad at school or life. It’s about fine-tuning how you approach things.”
Gaming Analogy:
“Think of it like levelling up in a game. Right now, you’re doing fine, but if you learn some new strategies or get some power-ups (in this case, learning skills to help with school and life), you can make things easier and more fun. You’ll get through the challenges faster and with less stress.”
Encourage a Trial Period
Sometimes teens are more willing to try something if it’s framed as a short-term experiment, rather than a long-term commitment. Encourage them to just give it a try, with the option to reevaluate after a few sessions.
Example Sentence Starters:
“Why don’t we just try it out for a couple of sessions and see how you feel? If it’s not for you, we can talk about other options.”
“How about we treat this as a trial? You can see if it helps, and if not, we can go from there.”
Highlight Real-Life Benefits They’ll Care About
Connect the dots between executive function coaching and things that matter to them personally. Whether it’s getting better grades, feeling less stressed, or having more free time, make the benefits tangible.
Example Sentence Starters:
“With these skills, you could spend less time stressing about school and more time hanging out with friends or doing things you enjoy.”
“The goal isn’t just to do better in school—it’s to make sure you have more time for yourself and the things you love to do.”
Questions to Keep the Conversation Open
Open-ended questions encourage your teen to reflect and engage with the idea rather than just shutting it down. These questions can keep the conversation flowing and help you understand their concerns.
Examples:
“What’s something you’ve been struggling with in school lately? How do you think things could be different?”
“If there were a way to make school less stressful, would you want to know more about it?”
“What would you want to get out of working with a coach? What do you think would make it worth your time?”
Why It Matters? Compassion and Choice Create Capacity
Teens may not always be enthusiastic about things that will ultimately help them. But by approaching the conversation with understanding, empathy, and clear examples of how executive function coaching can improve their life now and in the future, you can help them see the value.
Keep the conversation positive, offer choices, and above all, let them feel that they’re in control of their own growth and success.
Does your teen play video games? Check out this blog: Cheat Codes for School Success: How an EF Coach Can Help Your Teen Level Up
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