Help or Habits? Make the Right Academic Support Choice for Your Teen
- Catriona M
- Dec 1
- 7 min read
Updated: Dec 5
Summary:
Tutors are helpful when your teen doesn't understand the material, they're confused about concepts, steps, or processes, or they need guided practice and clear explanations.
Your teen may need an executive function (EF) coach when they procrastinate, they're disorganized, or they struggle to start tasks and finish tasks.
A tutor and an EF coach may be helpful if your teen is struggling with both understanding the content and managing the workload.
Tutoring and Executive Function Coaching are different but complimentary approaches. Understanding the differences helps you make the right academic support choice for your teen.
What if your teen’s school struggles aren’t really about the subject at all?
School stress affects the whole family.
Maybe your teen is falling behind, missing assignments, or shutting down under pressure.
Maybe frustration and conflict are becoming routine, and you’re worried about whether they’re developing the independence and confidence they need to graduate and thrive beyond school.
Most families start with tutoring because it’s familiar. But when the problem goes beyond understanding the content and includes procrastination, disorganization, emotional overwhelm, poor time management, or trouble getting started; tutoring alone may not be enough.
This blog, co-written by myself and Zahresh Walji, a private tutor, will help you figure out when your teen needs a tutor and when they need an executive function coach, and when a combined approach creates the strongest results.
Tutoring: Building Understanding, Confidence, and Independence
Tutoring is designed to help students bridge the gap between what they hear in class and what they’re actually able to do on their own.
While tutors can support students across many subjects, the heart of the work remains the same: help them understand the material, build confidence, and develop the skills to work independently.
Below is a closer look at what a tutor does, and how that support differs from executive function coaching.
What A Tutor Does
As a tutor, I break down academic concepts so they actually make sense. Instead of having students memorize formulas or rehearse steps, my goal is to help them understand how and why the math or science works. Here is a breakdown of how I approach this.
How A Tutor Helps: The Process
Most of my sessions begin with a simple question: “What part is giving you the most trouble?”
If the student isn’t sure, which is very common, I ask them to attempt a homework question. Watching and hearing their thinking helps me pinpoint whether the obstacle is a missing skill, a foundational issue, difficulty getting started, or simply overwhelm.
From there, I use a structured approach, called Gradual Release of Responsibility, often described as: I Do → We Do → You Do
I Do: I model the skill by walking through a similar question step-by-step and explaining my reasoning clearly.
We Do: We solve a similar problem together. I ask guiding questions: “What do you notice here?” or “What comes next?” to keep them thinking actively instead of watching passively.
You Do: The student tries a similar problem independently while talking through their steps out loud. This is where clarity becomes confidence.
If a problem feels too overwhelming, I simplify it to something familiar and build it back up slowly. Students quickly learn that “scary” questions are often just familiar skills in disguise.
What Makes My Approach Effective
I’m not there to lecture. I’m there to teach students how to think through problems.
I do this by intentionally supporting all three major learning styles whether it is online or in person:
Auditory learners: We talk through the steps
Visual learners: I break concepts down on paper or Zoom whiteboard
Hands-on learners: I get them actively working through each step
And, because a relaxed brain learns better, I keep the atmosphere encouraging and positive, using patience, humour, and small wins to keep motivation high.
Common Challenges I See
Last-minute panic: Many students reach out right before a test hoping for a “miracle.” I help as much as possible, but real progress comes from steady practice.
Foundation gaps: Students often struggle not because they can’t learn, but because earlier building blocks weren’t mastered. Once we rebuild the foundation, everything else becomes easier.
My Long-Term Goal for Every Student
My goal isn’t to tutor a student forever.
I want them to:
understand the material deeply
trust their own thinking
develop strong critical thinking skills
break down complex problems independently
In short, I aim to help students become confident, capable learners who eventually no longer need tutoring.
Executive Function Coaching: Strengthening the Skills Behind Learning
Executive function (EF) is the brain’s management system. It helps students regulate their thoughts, actions, and emotions so they can plan, start, work through, and finish tasks all with the right focus, timing, and energy.
As an Executive Function coach, my role is to help students understand their unique EF profile, identify their strengths and challenges, and build the systems, strategies, and habits that allow them to get things done with greater ease and confidence.
What an Executive Function Coach Does
An Executive Function (EF) coach helps students strengthen the mental skills that make learning possible: planning, organizing, managing time, focusing, regulating emotions, and getting started on tasks.
EF coaching doesn’t teach a subject; it teaches students how their brain works and what supports help them learn effectively.
Many students arrive feeling overwhelmed, behind, or unsure how to study. They may procrastinate, lose track of assignments, or struggle to manage workload.
My role is to help students recognize their strengths, understand their challenges, and build practical systems that make school more manageable.
With small, doable wins, confidence grows and school becomes less chaotic, more predictable, and easier to handle.
How EF Coaches Help: The Process
EF coaching starts with a quick check-in: “How are you doing today?”Students can’t learn strategies when they’re overwhelmed, so we take a moment to regulate, settle in, and get ready to focus.
Next, we review last week’s commitments. We celebrate what went well and explore any challenges without judgment. This helps us see what’s truly getting in the way.
Then, we move into a simple, collaborative structure that involves setting a goal, working side-by-side on the task, developing an action plan for the week, and reflecting on what helped and how they’ll use the strategy moving forward.
This structure is repeated each week. It builds predictability and familiarity.
What Makes EF Coaching Effective
I create a safe, supportive, judgment-free space so students can show up honestly, take risks, and try new strategies.
Built-in accountability through weekly commitments, check-ins, and progress tracking help students follow through and see their growth.
Strategies and tools are personalized to each student’s brain, routines, and school demands. It’s never one-size-fits-all.
Regular communication and Family Team Meetings keep everyone aligned and reinforce progress at home.
Common Challenges EF Coaches See
Many teens interpret their struggles as personal flaws:
“Something’s wrong with me.”
“I’m just bad at this.”
“I always mess things up.”
“I’m not smart enough.”
Without understanding how their brain works, these beliefs can lead to a fixed mindset and avoiding challenges.
EF coaching helps students demystify their brain, reframe these thoughts, and see themselves as capable learners.
We also address common barriers such as inconsistent routines, difficulty prioritizing, emotional overwhelm, perfectionism, and procrastination, which disrupt learning long before a pencil even touches the page.
The Goal of EF Coaching
Like tutoring, the goal of EF coaching is independence. Over time, students learn to:
understand how their brain works,
use strategies to stay organized and focused,
manage their time and tasks,
advocate for themselves,
build reliable routines.
As their confidence and competence grow, coaching gradually tapers so students become self-directed learners who can navigate school—and life—with clarity and resilience.
Choose the Right Academic Support for Your Teen
If your teen is saying things like “I don’t get this,” a tutor may be the best place to start.
If they’re saying “I know what to do, I just can’t make myself do it,” an EF coach can help them build the skills behind motivation, planning, and follow-through.
And, if they’re struggling with both understanding the material and managing the workload, combining tutoring with EF coaching can be a powerful, coordinated approach.
No matter where your child is starting, the goal is the same: help them feel confident, capable, and in control of their learning; now and for the long term.
Still unsure?
Use this chart to help you decide.
If your teen needs help with... | HIRE A TUTOR | HIRE AN EF COACH | HIRE BOTH |
Understanding math, science or course content | ✔️ | not the focus | If they also struggle with planning, organization, or follow-through |
Filling foundational skill gaps | ✔️ | Best when gaps + weak routines are both issues | |
Knowing how and why concepts works | ✔️ | Tutor teaches content, coach helps apply it consistently | |
Getting started on homework or studying | sometimes | ✔️ | Strong combined support |
Staying organized (binders, backpacks, digital files) | ✔️ | Coach builds systems to keep tutoring work organized | |
Managing time and planning ahead | ✔️ | Coach helps structure time to apply tutoring concepts | |
Avoiding procrastination or overwhelm | ✔️ | Both can support confidence from different angles | |
Following through on tasks and commitments | indirectly | ✔️ | Tutor reinforces content; coach builds routines & systems |
Studying effectively and retaining information | subject-specific | ✔️ study strategies & memory tools | Content + Process support |
Stress, perfectionism, motivation | ✔️ |
Ready to Get the Right Support for Your Teen?
If you’re noticing that your teen is struggling you don’t have to navigate it alone. The right support can make an enormous difference in your child’s confidence, independence, and overall school experience.
If you think subject-specific support is what your teen needs, you can reach out to:
If your teen needs help with organization, time management, motivation, or study habits, connect with:
Catriona Misfeldt, Certified Executive Function Coach
📞 604-771-6967
We’re both here to support your teen’s success, whether through tutoring, executive function coaching, or a combination of both, and we’re always happy to answer questions or help you figure out the best next step.
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