Help or Habits? Make the Right Academic Support Choice for Your Teen

Empowering Neurodiverse Teens: Choosing Between Tutoring and Executive Function Coaching

Understanding Your Teen's Needs

School can be stressful. As parents, it's hard to know how to best support your child. The key is figuring out what type of help your teen needs.

School stress affects the entire family.

Perhaps your teen is falling behind, missing assignments, or shutting down under pressure. You might be noticing frustration and conflict becoming routine. It’s natural to worry about whether they’re developing the independence and confidence they need to graduate and thrive beyond school.

Most families start with tutoring because it feels familiar. However, when the issues extend beyond simply understanding the content—such as procrastination, disorganization, emotional overwhelm, poor time management, or difficulty getting started—tutoring alone may not suffice.

This blog, co-written by myself and Zahresh Walji, a private tutor, will help you discern when your teen needs a tutor and when they require an executive function coach. Additionally, we will explore how a combined approach can yield the strongest results.

Tutoring: Building Understanding, Confidence, and Independence

Tutoring is designed to help students bridge the gap between what they hear in class and what they can do independently.

While tutors can support students across various subjects, the heart of the work remains the same: helping them understand the material, build confidence, and develop the skills to work independently.

What A Tutor Does

As a tutor, I break down academic concepts so they make sense. Instead of having students memorize formulas or rehearse steps, my goal is to help them understand how and why the math or science works. Here’s how I approach this.

How A Tutor Helps: The Process

Most of my sessions begin with a simple question: “What part is giving you the most trouble?”

If the student isn’t sure, which is common, I ask them to attempt a homework question. Watching and hearing their thinking helps me pinpoint whether the obstacle is a missing skill, a foundational issue, difficulty getting started, or simply overwhelm.

From there, I use a structured approach called Gradual Release of Responsibility, often described as: I Do → We Do → You Do.

I Do: I model the skill by walking through a similar question step-by-step and explaining my reasoning clearly.

We Do: We solve a similar problem together. I ask guiding questions: “What do you notice here?” or “What comes next?” to keep them thinking actively instead of watching passively.

You Do: The student tries a similar problem independently while talking through their steps out loud. This is where clarity becomes confidence.

If a problem feels too overwhelming, I simplify it to something familiar and build it back up slowly. Students quickly learn that “scary” questions are often just familiar skills in disguise.

What Makes My Approach Effective

I’m not there to lecture. I’m there to teach students how to think through problems.

I do this by intentionally supporting all three major learning styles, whether online or in person:

• Auditory learners: We talk through the steps.

• Visual learners: I break concepts down on paper or Zoom whiteboard.

• Hands-on learners: I get them actively working through each step.

  
  

Because a relaxed brain learns better, I keep the atmosphere encouraging and positive. I use patience, humour, and small wins to maintain high motivation.

Common Challenges I See

Last-minute panic: Many students reach out right before a test hoping for a “miracle.” I help as much as possible, but real progress comes from steady practice.

Foundation gaps: Students often struggle not because they can’t learn, but because earlier building blocks weren’t mastered. Once we rebuild the foundation, everything else becomes easier.

My Long-Term Goal for Every Student

My goal isn’t to tutor a student forever.

I want them to:

• Understand the material deeply.

• Trust their own thinking.

• Develop strong critical thinking skills.

• Break down complex problems independently.

  
  

In short, I aim to help students become confident, capable learners who eventually no longer need tutoring.

Executive Function Coaching: Strengthening the Skills Behind Learning

Executive function (EF) is the brain’s management system. It helps students regulate their thoughts, actions, and emotions so they can plan, start, work through, and finish tasks—all with the right focus, timing, and energy.

As an Executive Function coach, my role is to help students understand their unique EF profile, identify their strengths and challenges, and build the systems, strategies, and habits that allow them to get things done with greater ease and confidence.

What an Executive Function Coach Does

An Executive Function (EF) coach helps students strengthen the mental skills that make learning possible: planning, organizing, managing time, focusing, regulating emotions, and getting started on tasks.

EF coaching doesn’t teach a subject; it teaches students how their brain works and what supports help them learn effectively.

Many students arrive feeling overwhelmed, behind, or unsure how to study. They may procrastinate, lose track of assignments, or struggle to manage their workload.

My role is to help students recognize their strengths, understand their challenges, and build practical systems that make school more manageable.

With small, doable wins, confidence grows, and school becomes less chaotic, more predictable, and easier to handle.

Working side-by-side with a student allows an EF coach to model how to complete tasks, increases focus, motivation, and productivity, as well as reduce overwhelm.

How EF Coaches Help: The Process

EF coaching starts with a quick check-in: “How are you doing today?” Students can’t learn strategies when they’re overwhelmed, so we take a moment to regulate, settle in, and get ready to focus.

Next, we review last week’s commitments. We celebrate what went well and explore any challenges without judgment. This helps us see what’s truly getting in the way.

Then, we move into a simple, collaborative structure that involves setting a goal, working side-by-side on the task, developing an action plan for the week, and reflecting on what helped and how they’ll use the strategy moving forward.

This structure is repeated each week. It builds predictability and familiarity.

What Makes EF Coaching Effective

I create a safe, supportive, judgment-free space so students can show up honestly, take risks, and try new strategies.

Built-in accountability through weekly commitments, check-ins, and progress tracking help students follow through and see their growth.

Strategies and tools are personalized to each student’s brain, routines, and school demands. It’s never one-size-fits-all.

Regular communication and Family Team Meetings keep everyone aligned and reinforce progress at home.

Common Challenges EF Coaches See

Many teens interpret their struggles as personal flaws:

• “Something’s wrong with me.”

• “I’m just bad at this.”

• “I always mess things up.”

• “I’m not smart enough.”

  
  

Without understanding how their brain works, these beliefs can lead to a fixed mindset and avoidance of challenges.

EF coaching helps students demystify their brain, reframe these thoughts, and see themselves as capable learners.

We also address common barriers such as inconsistent routines, difficulty prioritizing, emotional overwhelm, perfectionism, and procrastination, which disrupt learning long before a pencil even touches the page.

The Goal of EF Coaching

Like tutoring, the goal of EF coaching is independence. Over time, students learn to:

• Understand how their brain works.

• Use strategies to stay organized and focused.

• Manage their time and tasks.

• Advocate for themselves.

• Build reliable routines.

  
  

As their confidence and competence grow, coaching gradually tapers so students become self-directed learners who can navigate school—and life—with clarity and resilience.

Choose the Right Academic Support for Your Teen

If your teen is saying things like “I don’t get this,” a tutor may be the best place to start.

If they’re saying “I know what to do, I just can’t make myself do it,” an EF coach can help them build the skills behind motivation, planning, and follow-through.

And if they’re struggling with both understanding the material and managing the workload, combining tutoring with EF coaching can be a powerful, coordinated approach.

No matter where your child is starting, the goal is the same: help them feel confident, capable, and in control of their learning; now and for the long term.

Still Unsure?

Use this chart to help you decide.

If your teen needs help with...	HIRE A TUTOR	HIRE AN EF COACH	HIRE BOTH
Understanding math, science or course content	✔️	not the focus	If they also struggle with planning, organization, or follow-through
Filling foundational skill gaps	✔️		Best when gaps + weak routines are both issues
Knowing how and why concepts work	✔️		Tutor teaches content, coach helps apply it consistently |
Getting started on homework or studying	sometimes	✔️	Strong combined support
Staying organized (binders, backpacks, digital files)		✔️	Coach builds systems to keep tutoring work organized
Managing time and planning ahead		✔️	Coach helps structure time to apply tutoring concepts
Avoiding procrastination or overwhelm		✔️	Both can support confidence from different angles
Following through on tasks and commitments	indirectly	✔️	Tutor reinforces content; coach builds routines & systems
Studying effectively and retaining information	subject-specific	✔️ study strategies & memory tools	Content + Process support
Stress, perfectionism, motivation		✔️	Coach builds emotional regulation + tutoring supports confidence

Ready to Get the Right Support for Your Teen?

If you’re noticing that your teen is struggling, you don’t have to navigate it alone. The right support can make an enormous difference in your child’s confidence, independence, and overall school experience.

If you think subject-specific support is what your teen needs, you can reach out to:

If your teen needs help with organization, time management, motivation, or study habits, connect with:

We’re both here to support your teen’s success, whether through tutoring, executive function coaching, or a combination of both. We’re always happy to answer questions or help you figure out the best next step.